My STATS Tutorial

I can't be expected to remember EVERYONE'S NAME.

And to make it more difficult, all the asians and the white people look the same.

So I simply take a person's characteristics and make a memorable name for them. Don't act like you don't do it too...

SWEDEN (THE TUTOR)
Yes, he's from Sweden, simple. Forgettable subtle Scandanavian accent. Always wears straw sandals. Looks like a viking. Swears a lot. Low tolerance of asians.

THE MAIL ORDERS
There's two of them and they're both from India and I'm SURE they were picked from a catalogue by a rich white man. They both do economics and law degrees but won't be using either of them. I assume they learnt cooking, politeness and entertaining their husbands' business associates back in India. Nice Girls. Pleasant. Quiet. Unslutty.

MISS SIAGON
The first of the asians. She gets the name because of her elaborate clothing featuring bold floral or spiralling prints and often accompanied with a useless accessory such as a fan and always wears too much makeup. Probably insane. Glares. Rarely speaks.

MACAU
Another asian, she was my buddy in the "Meet & Greet" part (which is always awkward) of tute one. She's from Macau which she told me is an island off Hong Kong. Hong Kong I understand is located in the lower right corner of Gook World. Face is a perfect circle. Slightly aggressive. Limited english.

YOGA GIRL
An asian common to my tute and PASS class. She gets this name after she told the PASS leaders (Tara and Amy) that she wanted to finish early so she could go to Yoga. She also wouldn't accept any confectionary from the PASS leaders because she goes to yoga and lollies have too many calories. Talks about yoga alot. Too happy. Possibly on speed.

THE FAT GUY WHO FAILED LAST YEAR
Grossly overweight and when Sweden asked him if he was "ready to get a 7" he told the class he failed the course last year. Unlikely to do any better this year. Agrees with other people's answers but never offers his own. Sits at the front.

GAIA
Gets her name from the fact she always has hair that looks like she just came out of the amazon rainforest. Her hair has more than one colour, regrowth, split ends and has been grown past shoulder height. Argues with me a lot. Attracts wildlife.


A guide to locations of the ethnicities... (CLICK ON IT!)